Boy I'm gonna have a lot of enemies on this one...
I generally like to write a little more flowery than this, but I've got a headache and I've been getting frustrated with godlessness of leveling up. So the following is just a feral bite of my recent ulcers of video games.
I'm playing Kingdom Hearts, and I'm having some trouble here and there. The game at this point is just killing me. I've been continually waiting for a story to unfold in it, but it's really not. Wes has told me that it plays out well, and moreso than anyone, when it comes to narrative I respect his opinion.
With the trouble naturally, I consult gamefaqs. Now this was a pretty popular game in it's hey day, and it's an rpg. Not to mention that there are mini games and side quests galore. All this of course means that there are at least 10 guides on the site. And then below are the "detailed" faqs. Here's where I will begin.
Who in the hell are the people that write these things? I've never met anyone that does. I do know a guy that submitted cheats on the site once, but never the faq novelist. I don't believe that people find out alot of these cheats or strategies on their own. They just relay the information that they picked up in some magazine. The crazy thing is that Gamepro or some shitty magazine that has the word 'game' in it, has writers that probably get a list of strategies and cheats from a developer and drudgingly go through their day relaying this information. And then apparently these kids who have a subscription to these magazines (I don't know if Gamepro even has subscription offers anymore. I think their marketing technique may be to put it on the shelf in one of those black covered bags, and rely on kids buying it assuming that it's some form of pornography.), then run to their computers and tell the world the cheat. Then apparently, there's kids so desperate to see their names on website that they give fake cheats or strategies. Why? The only recognition I give these people is the nod I give to their glowing name on my computer screen as I speak to them through it, stating "You poor idiot. Did you maybe have another game in your console?"
But that's just for the cheats mainly. The faq authors are a whole other story. First off, I can't read a damn walkthrough without skipping a page and a half of legal (not really legal at all) nonsense. I dont' know much about the blackmarket of free walkthroughs that are posted for free and read for free, but I have to assume that there's not that much theft in the genre. Seriously, you're not getting paid for it. Someone could steal this article and reprint it under their name, and it's not gonna matter to me. It's not like a book or a script where someone would steal the aforementioned and make money selling it as their own. What happened to bring this about? Did IGN steal from these idiots or something? To insure the art even moreso, some of these guys go about copywriting their precious faqs. Again, there's no money in it!!! People don't steal water from a fountain, they don't go get the neighbors trash and put it in their own cans to pawn it off as their own. The sad thing is, knowing a little about copyrights from a failed career in writing movies, I know that at very least half of "copyrights" are even valid. And how sad is it that you lie about spending fifteen dollars to secure your faq that's not worth sweat you put into it, as there's probably a better one just below on the list.
All I can assume is fame. People want to be recognized as being the guiding hand that leads you through a game. The fact is that no one cares who you are, and they probably only consulted your writing because the last faq they read didn't work. "Yep, I was the one that did the faq for Oh-nee-moosh-uh 2. I even drew out the title in #'s as a title page." What's the best that could happen? Gamepro could give you a job as a 'writer' who types out the notes given to him by developers, and then you could go home every night and play Russian Roulette... SINGLE PLAYER!
Next point. Writing styles vary, and it's a wonderful thing. They're probably just a little less distinct than snowflakes or fingerprints. But that's also to say that I'm assuming that there are some terrible looking snowflakes, that should have never been born from the clouds. Casual writing is always rough one to deal with. The guys who throw out the quips that they would voice over the game, if they were in the room with you. And then the typical "Holy crap, that monster's giganti-normous!" And you have you read through lines and lines of that to hear them give a strategy like "jump on the planters" or "aim for the head" or "just keep hitting him til he dies". But the other spectrum is just as bad. The guys who tell you every single move to make. I can only assume that they video taped themselves fighting the covenant and relayed every button that they pushed. It's obvious that most games don't lend themselves to such a precise manor of presenting you with problems (aka AK's to chin).
I'm gonna skip the next two points, which were the guys that tell you what needs to be done, but not how to do it and the guys who make up names for unamed enemies, to finish with constant lines I always see on faq's. "My email address is doucheMcFace@ihategames.com. Don't email me." Alot have taken their email addresses down, because I guess while they want to help fellow gamers out, they don't want to invest anymore time into it. Yes there are idiots that ask obvious questions, but for the most part it's probably people asking what you meant by something. You know, because you can't write. And back to previous theories, I thought you wanted fame? If a mailbox full of subject lines reading "I can't beat Sniper Wolf" doesn't s0lidify your celebrity, then God knows what does.
But seriously, I am thankful for these people. These moronic, sophmoric, nearly suicidal, people. They help me beat bosses sometimes. Sometimes. Most of the time I just find my own way doing the job. BUT YOU DON'T SEE ME WRITING AN FAQ ABOUT IT!
I'd now like to draw your attention to brilliant things I've read today.
Jurassic FAQ -check the hints and tips section
An inspiring story of home run derby ball boys -I laugh because I have low self esteem.
-tim
I'm playing Kingdom Hearts, and I'm having some trouble here and there. The game at this point is just killing me. I've been continually waiting for a story to unfold in it, but it's really not. Wes has told me that it plays out well, and moreso than anyone, when it comes to narrative I respect his opinion.
With the trouble naturally, I consult gamefaqs. Now this was a pretty popular game in it's hey day, and it's an rpg. Not to mention that there are mini games and side quests galore. All this of course means that there are at least 10 guides on the site. And then below are the "detailed" faqs. Here's where I will begin.
Who in the hell are the people that write these things? I've never met anyone that does. I do know a guy that submitted cheats on the site once, but never the faq novelist. I don't believe that people find out alot of these cheats or strategies on their own. They just relay the information that they picked up in some magazine. The crazy thing is that Gamepro or some shitty magazine that has the word 'game' in it, has writers that probably get a list of strategies and cheats from a developer and drudgingly go through their day relaying this information. And then apparently these kids who have a subscription to these magazines (I don't know if Gamepro even has subscription offers anymore. I think their marketing technique may be to put it on the shelf in one of those black covered bags, and rely on kids buying it assuming that it's some form of pornography.), then run to their computers and tell the world the cheat. Then apparently, there's kids so desperate to see their names on website that they give fake cheats or strategies. Why? The only recognition I give these people is the nod I give to their glowing name on my computer screen as I speak to them through it, stating "You poor idiot. Did you maybe have another game in your console?"
But that's just for the cheats mainly. The faq authors are a whole other story. First off, I can't read a damn walkthrough without skipping a page and a half of legal (not really legal at all) nonsense. I dont' know much about the blackmarket of free walkthroughs that are posted for free and read for free, but I have to assume that there's not that much theft in the genre. Seriously, you're not getting paid for it. Someone could steal this article and reprint it under their name, and it's not gonna matter to me. It's not like a book or a script where someone would steal the aforementioned and make money selling it as their own. What happened to bring this about? Did IGN steal from these idiots or something? To insure the art even moreso, some of these guys go about copywriting their precious faqs. Again, there's no money in it!!! People don't steal water from a fountain, they don't go get the neighbors trash and put it in their own cans to pawn it off as their own. The sad thing is, knowing a little about copyrights from a failed career in writing movies, I know that at very least half of "copyrights" are even valid. And how sad is it that you lie about spending fifteen dollars to secure your faq that's not worth sweat you put into it, as there's probably a better one just below on the list.
All I can assume is fame. People want to be recognized as being the guiding hand that leads you through a game. The fact is that no one cares who you are, and they probably only consulted your writing because the last faq they read didn't work. "Yep, I was the one that did the faq for Oh-nee-moosh-uh 2. I even drew out the title in #'s as a title page." What's the best that could happen? Gamepro could give you a job as a 'writer' who types out the notes given to him by developers, and then you could go home every night and play Russian Roulette... SINGLE PLAYER!
Next point. Writing styles vary, and it's a wonderful thing. They're probably just a little less distinct than snowflakes or fingerprints. But that's also to say that I'm assuming that there are some terrible looking snowflakes, that should have never been born from the clouds. Casual writing is always rough one to deal with. The guys who throw out the quips that they would voice over the game, if they were in the room with you. And then the typical "Holy crap, that monster's giganti-normous!" And you have you read through lines and lines of that to hear them give a strategy like "jump on the planters" or "aim for the head" or "just keep hitting him til he dies". But the other spectrum is just as bad. The guys who tell you every single move to make. I can only assume that they video taped themselves fighting the covenant and relayed every button that they pushed. It's obvious that most games don't lend themselves to such a precise manor of presenting you with problems (aka AK's to chin).
I'm gonna skip the next two points, which were the guys that tell you what needs to be done, but not how to do it and the guys who make up names for unamed enemies, to finish with constant lines I always see on faq's. "My email address is doucheMcFace@ihategames.com. Don't email me." Alot have taken their email addresses down, because I guess while they want to help fellow gamers out, they don't want to invest anymore time into it. Yes there are idiots that ask obvious questions, but for the most part it's probably people asking what you meant by something. You know, because you can't write. And back to previous theories, I thought you wanted fame? If a mailbox full of subject lines reading "I can't beat Sniper Wolf" doesn't s0lidify your celebrity, then God knows what does.
But seriously, I am thankful for these people. These moronic, sophmoric, nearly suicidal, people. They help me beat bosses sometimes. Sometimes. Most of the time I just find my own way doing the job. BUT YOU DON'T SEE ME WRITING AN FAQ ABOUT IT!
I'd now like to draw your attention to brilliant things I've read today.
Jurassic FAQ -check the hints and tips section
An inspiring story of home run derby ball boys -I laugh because I have low self esteem.
-tim
posted by idlehours at 10:32 PM
2 Comments:
C'mon, doesn't someone have the balls to tell me I was wrong in my rage? Like how gamefaqs probably makes you put the legal crap on there? Speaking of them, apparently you can't link directly to their faqs. It's funny that they don't even masquerade around the fact that they don't allow it because they haven't infused the faq's with ads yet. And since it's a website that allows kids to post information sought out by many gamers, THAT THEY ARE NOT PAID FOR, they need to keep up their profits. You see, the moral obstruction is that gamefaqs pays nothing for their product (the posted faqs), but gets paid as a site that compiles faqs. Why would anyone do anything that's not making them wealthy? I guess the money's riding on the creativity. Like Edison made money on light, which is free, but in finding that tungsten glows when electricity runs through it (I don't think it was tungsten in his day). The money made was on the birth of light, not the bulb. Now the moneys made by gamefaqs by someone saying, "hey, why don't we get some bandwidth and give kids a place to help one another with games?" The convience being the main product. So then to grease their pockets, they decide to sell themselves for the traffic they intake, through banners and more banners, and God-awful banners. Now I can understand how one might say that bandwidth costs money, and it was a move to better serve their visitors. But allowing VIP membership and not allowing direct links would differ that route altogether. C'mon, someone give me something? Gamers have to be tired of this bullshit, after coming home from EB with shit they don't need because the reps have to sell it to you or they lose their jobs, and then clicking around and through banners just to get information? When did they start a toll for the information highway? This shoulda been another post. Sorry. Sorry to all 16 of you.
um........LOL?
wes
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