Max Payne and more about Larry...
I nearly finished Magna Cum Laude before I took it back. Horrible experience in the actual gameplay. The trampoline system is uniquely unresponsive. The way I found to fool it, was this method: If a "Left, Up" is coming, the keeping pressing left as rapidly as you can, then once the icon passes by, start pressing up as rapidly as you can. There's some golden wisdom you're not going to find on GameFAQs. I did laugh. Alot at some points. To sum up a normal day for Larry at college; there's playing quarters with a monkey, then switching your brain with his, and of course watching porn with an actress and an arcade machine mimicing Holk Hogan, and what college day would be complete without playing "trampoline" (apparently it's a competitive sport now) with a russian spy, only to see her blast her way back to the mother land on a jet pack.
This is my metaphor. Lord of the G String. It's a softcore porn. It's also one of the funniest movies I rented last year. My problem is that the comedy is wedged between 25 minute lesbian love scenes. That's alot of fast fowarding. Now I'm not bashing porn, but when a guy wants to see his porn, then he gets his porn. And when he wants to laugh, then he watches something Steve Martin or whoever in it. Genre blending does work, Shaun of the Dead is a testament to that. But not in this senario. When you watched Backdoor Tramps #29, you didn't get to the end and complain that it wasn't funny enough. And when you watched the Big Lebowski, you didn't complain that there wasn't enough sex involved. There's a time and place for everything. In the case of Larry Lovage v. tim, alot of Larry's jokes were funny, but they were in the middle of consistent jokes that made my skin crawl.
First game I'd ever seen the boobs in was Greendog: The Beached Surfer Dude. There's a code you can key in really quick and the title screen changes from stupid Greendog (the protagonist) to a picture of a nude woman lying on her side at the beach. I should note that there's a small chance I may have my games mixed up, because I have not found this code on any cheat sites, but I do remember it, and I'm almost certain it was this game. In any case, this didn't ruin the game for me. The code was damn near impossible to key in anyways. Point: It was highly avoidable. Most of MCL's nudity was avoidable too. There were two in game sequences of nudity, and possibly more, as I still had 4 girls to rape (the lack of quotations mean that I'm not joking). I found a vendor randomly, that sold "racier loading screens" and "graphic models nude." This stuff was avoidable, and for the most part was a majority of the nudity. But it wasn't the nudity, I can't stress this enough; it was the humor. Just gross disgusting, middle school humor. Which, let's face it, that's who the game was really marketed too.
And no more Larry articles for me.
I started Max Payne 2. I'm liking it, but I do have a problem. The setting doesn't seem right to me. I've already written all this once, and it got lost, so I'll be much less expansive. By the precendent of the first game, I am to believe that Max is the same guy from the first game. And to me, Max Payne, in Max Payne, was an absolute idiot. Now I'm in this setting where everything is a little less cheesy. Things seem a bit more dramatic. I might really feel bad for the guy (for once), but I'm still looking at him, thinking of his metaphors of "broken bottles of tabasco sauce." It's hard to get my mind set that Max has more than dust in his goofy Saved by the Bell hair. I can't say that they should take a cue from Square and have Max Payne 2, starring George Winthorpe. And I'm not saying that they should make another game with a retarded Max. I'm just saying that it's a shame that involved story sequels are held to standards by their original games. Not that Max Payne will be remembered for it's story, but when you play a game that cut's several times per chapter to a cut scene, you expect a game to attempt to involve you in a narrative. Regardless, Max Payne 2 is fun, and there's many times in all of our lives where we ask for something to play that is completely mindless. For these times, there is Max Payne, getting drunk, or going to school. Combine at your own risk.
-tim
This is my metaphor. Lord of the G String. It's a softcore porn. It's also one of the funniest movies I rented last year. My problem is that the comedy is wedged between 25 minute lesbian love scenes. That's alot of fast fowarding. Now I'm not bashing porn, but when a guy wants to see his porn, then he gets his porn. And when he wants to laugh, then he watches something Steve Martin or whoever in it. Genre blending does work, Shaun of the Dead is a testament to that. But not in this senario. When you watched Backdoor Tramps #29, you didn't get to the end and complain that it wasn't funny enough. And when you watched the Big Lebowski, you didn't complain that there wasn't enough sex involved. There's a time and place for everything. In the case of Larry Lovage v. tim, alot of Larry's jokes were funny, but they were in the middle of consistent jokes that made my skin crawl.
First game I'd ever seen the boobs in was Greendog: The Beached Surfer Dude. There's a code you can key in really quick and the title screen changes from stupid Greendog (the protagonist) to a picture of a nude woman lying on her side at the beach. I should note that there's a small chance I may have my games mixed up, because I have not found this code on any cheat sites, but I do remember it, and I'm almost certain it was this game. In any case, this didn't ruin the game for me. The code was damn near impossible to key in anyways. Point: It was highly avoidable. Most of MCL's nudity was avoidable too. There were two in game sequences of nudity, and possibly more, as I still had 4 girls to rape (the lack of quotations mean that I'm not joking). I found a vendor randomly, that sold "racier loading screens" and "graphic models nude." This stuff was avoidable, and for the most part was a majority of the nudity. But it wasn't the nudity, I can't stress this enough; it was the humor. Just gross disgusting, middle school humor. Which, let's face it, that's who the game was really marketed too.
And no more Larry articles for me.
I started Max Payne 2. I'm liking it, but I do have a problem. The setting doesn't seem right to me. I've already written all this once, and it got lost, so I'll be much less expansive. By the precendent of the first game, I am to believe that Max is the same guy from the first game. And to me, Max Payne, in Max Payne, was an absolute idiot. Now I'm in this setting where everything is a little less cheesy. Things seem a bit more dramatic. I might really feel bad for the guy (for once), but I'm still looking at him, thinking of his metaphors of "broken bottles of tabasco sauce." It's hard to get my mind set that Max has more than dust in his goofy Saved by the Bell hair. I can't say that they should take a cue from Square and have Max Payne 2, starring George Winthorpe. And I'm not saying that they should make another game with a retarded Max. I'm just saying that it's a shame that involved story sequels are held to standards by their original games. Not that Max Payne will be remembered for it's story, but when you play a game that cut's several times per chapter to a cut scene, you expect a game to attempt to involve you in a narrative. Regardless, Max Payne 2 is fun, and there's many times in all of our lives where we ask for something to play that is completely mindless. For these times, there is Max Payne, getting drunk, or going to school. Combine at your own risk.
-tim
posted by idlehours at 9:15 PM
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home